On Connecting To Strangers
The Sidewalk Talk Blog
Please take the online belonging survey (2 questions) here (or scroll to the bottom).
Something I notice is in my life is I make up stories about my own belonging. Because I have a wound around not being wanted as a tiny baby, I can get hooked from time to time.
What I now know is there are two sides to this belonging coin. In order to create more belonging in the world we have to create it not only outside, on the sidewalks, but inside of us.
If you feel like you don’t belong you will act that out and probably inadvertently make others feel like they don't belong. We have talked about common enemy intimacy or as Dr. Karyn Hall describes it, “belonging through excluding others”.
Here at Sidewalk Talk we are thinking through new ways to be a belonging creating organization. One of the great challenges is that we have to lock arms and walk together in our perseverance. We have to recognize that creating belonging is both an inside and an outside job.
For example, Sidewalk Talk, as an organization, may not be able to make someone feel like they belong if they have a wound that blocks receiving belonging and connection. The other day I was in a Facebook group and someone didn’t respond to a question of mine. Oh the "not belonging" stories I made up in my head. Ouch. I had to go into my own ‘creating belonging’ resources rather than blame or assume things about my group. Ugh, the wounds for many of us are real.
Here are Dr. Karyn Hall’s tips for creating belonging on the inside mixed in with a few of my own:
On belonging, we would love your help creating innovative and fun ways to create more internal and external belonging here at Sidewalk Talk during this quarantine.
Would you be willing to weigh in on some silly goofy ideas and add your own on this Survey Monkey Survey? It is anonymous.
I am a woman, therapist, wife, mom, friend, listener, and founder/leader of Sidewalk Talk. You can subscribe to my couples therapy list here.